Abundant Blessings

Sorry for my horrible maintenance of the blog the past several weeks. I have been trying to finish the school quarter, and Systematic Theology has been a challenge to my schedule :) I am so very excited to have the opportunity to study Biblical text with such amazing professors and an awesome group of classmates, more like family than not, but it certainly requires discipline!

I have to admit that I have been thankful for the distractions, though. As many adoptive parents can attest, the wait seems to get harder and harder, your emotions easier to rattle, and your heart ready to explode at any minute the closer you get to "the call". I think we find ourselves unofficially in single digits now for (at least) a baby boy, and so much closer to the fulfillment of the dream that God placed upon our hearts so long ago. Although it looks like a little man will be joining our family in the next few months, we know that our God is a big, BIG God, so anything could happen :) No matter what, we will be full of joy.

Brandon and I are certainly starting to realize that we actually have to get some things ready for our little one(s), and we have enjoyed starting the hunt for all that baby stuff, although it isn't too realistic to buy much yet, considering we don't know exactly what we will need. Looking is fun, none the less!

So many adoptive families report feeling burdened around the day something happens with their little one- on the day of their birth, the day they enter the orphanage, or other significant days in their lives; somewhat of a revelation from the Holy Spirit. We have not felt that burden yet, although we continue to pray fervently for the life of our Ethiopian family (Baby, Parents, Grandparents), whatever the factors that drive them hopelessly to adoption. Maybe our little one is not yet born, maybe they are still in the arms of their mama, or maybe they are suffering great loss in an African orphanage. No matter where you are, little one, mommy and daddy love you, God is holding you in His arms, and we are coming for you soon.

Mostly now, we live in the moment and the realization that our lives have been abundantly blessed. We have a wonderful family, a marriage rooted in love and in God, and the hope of Christ and His rich promises for each tomorrow. We feel that there is so much that He is calling us to do for Him and His children, and continue to walk the path that He has laid out for us. Each day, the light shines on a little bit more of the path, and we are called in obedience to take the next step. Sometimes, in our humanness, we want the light to shine a little brighter, illuminating the path a little further into the future, yet God's plan is perfect, and His revelations come at exactly the right time. Thank you, gracious Father, for our abundant blessings, and those yet to come. You are faithful; help me to be faithful unto You.

In Christ Alone...Blessings.

Kindra

The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. Psalm 145:13

I LOVE (BIG HEART) REFERRALS!

YEAH FOR REFERRALS!!!!!!!






Can I tell you how much I love referrals?! They bring so much joy to my heart and renew the Spirit of this wait. There have been some wonderful families receive referrals in the past couple of weeks, and it is such a blessing to share this part of life with them! I feel that my life is so incredibly enriched by the fact that we can share these moments together, and I just wanted to shout a PRAISE!!!!! for this gift God has given me! Someday, we will be celebrating MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kindra

Psalm 23

This morning I had the immense privilege of hearing one of my Seminary professors give a message on the 23rd Psalm. It is a Psalm that we hear often, especially after a death, however its message runs deeper, and can apply to every valley in our lives, no matter how deep or how dark.

At those times we are standing before a valley, we are often frightened and sad; the valley is dark, uncertain. Yet our Shepherd calls us deeper and deeper into the darkness, into the valley.We cry out, "But Lord the things in the valley are bigger than I; the walls in the valley are steep and jagged!" Yet, He tells us, "Do not look at the walls, look at Me. Nothing in the valley is bigger than Me. I am your Shepherd, and I will not leave you. I have been through this valley before, and I know the way. I promise that there will be green pastures on the other side. There you will be refreshed, you will receive rest, and your faith in Me will be stronger, because you will see that I have brought you forth from the dark, closing walls of the valley."

So, stay close to the Shepherd- He is shaping you to be a follower that clings to Him in all things. Soon you will be able to lift your arms in praise and say, "I was blind, but now I see; Jesus you kept the faith in me!"

Friends, our life journey, and specifically our journey through adoption can certainly have its share of valley's- they are dark, uncertain, and often terrifying. God has written your name on this path, and He is walking it with you. As He calls you deeper and deeper into the darkness, cling tightly to Him and His promise that there are green pastures waiting for you, children to call your own will be yours on the other side! We can see His promise to us in Psalm 23. Write it on your heart...

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I feel no evil for You are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen Psalm 23

Kindra

Pray for Dianke

So much is going on in Africa that affects my heart today. Oh, how I wish I was there!

Dianke is having a third surgery on her neck tomorrow (or tonight our time), as the grafts from the second surgery failed due to infection. Dr. Ted and his team will be re-attempting grafting tomorrow in Theis. The Missouri team happens to be heading there now, and oh, how I wish I was getting on that plane. My heart is broken, yet I know that not only am I exactly where God wants me today, He holds her in the palm of His hand. (But oh, loving on her would feel so good right now). I know that He has a plan for her life that will glorify Him in ways that we cannot possibly comprehend! I pray that I am with her the day she recognizes Him as her Father, Redeemer, and Great Physician, raises her arms and head to the heavens to shout praises to His name! Holy, holy, holy is the Lord, God Almighty. Please join me in praying for Dianke's surgery, that it is successful, for Dr. Ted and his team and the mighty ways they are caring not only for her physical healing but spiritually as well. God has placed so many wonderful Christian caregivers in the path of she and her family that it could only be His story! Also pray for her mother, as she has been separated from Dianke for several months. How scary it must be to not have seen your daughter, whom you have placed in the hands of strangers for such a life-changing transformational surgery, based on the promises of a God that you do not know personally. Please pray that God will continue to flex His muscles for this family that He may reveal Himself to them!










Also, I am feeling a lot of anticipation for our child these last two weeks. I thought that I was waiting patiently, but after the baby boom last week, I find myself restlessly wondering about our timeline, and wishing it were here, today! I realize that we are likely headed for a referral during court closures for rainy season, and my heart is grieving over the idea that I may have to be without my child even longer than I had hoped. My brain reminds me that God's timing is sovereign, and that we will hold our kiddo at exactly the perfect moment, but my impatient heart yearns for control of the plan! Looks like I need to spend some extra time on my knees! Maybe it is time for a fast.

This week and next, I am spending time with some wonderful friends in Minnesota at Bethel Seminary for our intensive classes, and here, out of the routine of my day to day, I am reminded that I love the Lord so much, and that I do not offer Him enough of my time. I yearn to draw closer to Him, to live in a way that brings immeasurable glory to Him, and ache to fulfill His will and calling for my life. Yet, each day, I fall short. God yearns to have a relationship with us, to reveal Himself to us through His Word, through our time in prayer. He is not a passive God, one who simply waits for us to open the Bible, pick some words, and try to apply them to our situation. He is a living, breathing God who wants to speak to us, wants to be in communion with us. Now, not later; always, not sometimes; forever and no matter what. Be challenged. Today. I certainly am.



Kindra

Official April update

I feel like I have been away forever! My computer suffered from what the Geek Squad lovingly called the "blue screen of death"! Never good... Anyway, I just got it back and I have so much to say. BUT, I am just going to start tonight with official April updates. I am not really sure how "official" they are, because there was a LOT of referral activity in the past couple weeks! Yee-Haw!

So many families to congratulate- new waitlist friends, new referrals, court passing news...it has been a pretty good month. I cannot believe how much more impatient I get as the numbers get smaller. I may need therapy shortly...dessert therapy at the least! Anyway, here they are:

Girl: 31










Boy: 20

Siblings: 12

Anyway, I have so much to share...but I will save it for tomorrow! God Bless you and goodnight!

Kindra

Emptiness...

Yesterday, I had to have a pelvic ultrasound. Not to worry- I am physically OK (I will be), but I walked out of there not so mentally OK. As I was watching the screen, I teased the tech a little by exclaiming, "There is no baby in there!" as she measured my uterus. (Not such a great thing to exclaim in an OB office ultrasound room...) Of course I followed it up with, "Just kidding- there isn't supposed to be" :) Poor lady. She just needed to look at my ovaries for crying out loud...everyone is a comedian, right?

Anyway, as I stared at my purposefully empty uterus, I began to feel that little knot well up in my throat-yes, you know the one. Somewhere in Africa, there is a lady whose uterus is not empty right now...rather, it is likely filled with my little miracle (or miracles). I have never met her. I do not know her name, how old she is, whether she is married or unmarried, whether she has food and water or shelter to keep her healthy and safe. She does not know how much I love her and that child, how often I think of her, wonder where she is or what she is doing, and she doesn't know how often I lift up prayers knowing that my God knows exactly who and where she is and what her needs are. Oh, how I wish I knew her. She is the most courageous woman I ever hope to meet.

Although she will not likely have the opportunity to lay on a table and look at her unborn child on a monitor, she will know them in a personal, intimate way before they are ever born. She will be the one to feel the midnight jabs of heels or elbows, to endure the hours of agonizing labor, to be the first to hold her child, our child, in her arms. Yet, the one thing she is certain to end up with in the end: emptiness. Emptiness in her uterus, yes, but an even deeper emptiness in her heart and soul. She will give her child to us, and we will get the wet sloppy kisses, the first words, the first everything...yet she will have been their mommy first. It is a right that can not and will never be taken from her. But will her "firsts" be enough to sustain her from the enveloping pain that the emptiness will bring? Oh God, please let those moments sustain her and give her peace.


We have to reconcile that this child (or children) that we are so longing for, that we will one day soon hold in our arms forever, a gift to us from our God in Heaven, was someone else's first. The fact that God has allowed them to come into our lives means that He has allowed that emptiness in someone elses. This fact, I am certain, will leave a little piece of emptiness in my heart for her forever, and a million times more thankfulness than you can ever imagine for this woman I do not know. How can I so desperately want something that will cause someone else such pain?





Kindra

Beware the Great Wolf!

Taking a couple days to enjoy friends and each other @ Great Wolf Lodge in KC, KS this weekend. All of Missouri and Kansas are here, seriously! We are so blessed to be able to enjoy our nieces and nephew and our friend's kiddos while we wait on our own! Not too fond of getting into a bathing suit...but that is a whole 'nother post!

Looking forward to April updates! Congratulations to all the referral families so far this month! Keep 'em coming!!

Kindra