So much is going on in Africa that affects my heart today. Oh, how I wish I was there!
Dianke is having a third surgery on her neck tomorrow (or tonight our time), as the grafts from the second surgery failed due to infection. Dr. Ted and his team will be re-attempting grafting tomorrow in Theis. The Missouri team happens to be heading there now, and oh, how I wish I was getting on that plane. My heart is broken, yet I know that not only am I exactly where God wants me today, He holds her in the palm of His hand. (But oh, loving on her would feel so good right now). I know that He has a plan for her life that will glorify Him in ways that we cannot possibly comprehend! I pray that I am with her the day she recognizes Him as her Father, Redeemer, and Great Physician, raises her arms and head to the heavens to shout praises to His name! Holy, holy, holy is the Lord, God Almighty. Please join me in praying for Dianke's surgery, that it is successful, for Dr. Ted and his team and the mighty ways they are caring not only for her physical healing but spiritually as well. God has placed so many wonderful Christian caregivers in the path of she and her family that it could only be His story! Also pray for her mother, as she has been separated from Dianke for several months. How scary it must be to not have seen your daughter, whom you have placed in the hands of strangers for such a life-changing transformational surgery, based on the promises of a God that you do not know personally. Please pray that God will continue to flex His muscles for this family that He may reveal Himself to them!
Also, I am feeling a lot of anticipation for our child these last two weeks. I thought that I was waiting patiently, but after the baby boom last week, I find myself restlessly wondering about our timeline, and wishing it were here, today! I realize that we are likely headed for a referral during court closures for rainy season, and my heart is grieving over the idea that I may have to be without my child even longer than I had hoped. My brain reminds me that God's timing is sovereign, and that we will hold our kiddo at exactly the perfect moment, but my impatient heart yearns for control of the plan! Looks like I need to spend some extra time on my knees! Maybe it is time for a fast.
This week and next, I am spending time with some wonderful friends in Minnesota at Bethel Seminary for our intensive classes, and here, out of the routine of my day to day, I am reminded that I love the Lord so much, and that I do not offer Him enough of my time. I yearn to draw closer to Him, to live in a way that brings immeasurable glory to Him, and ache to fulfill His will and calling for my life. Yet, each day, I fall short. God yearns to have a relationship with us, to reveal Himself to us through His Word, through our time in prayer. He is not a passive God, one who simply waits for us to open the Bible, pick some words, and try to apply them to our situation. He is a living, breathing God who wants to speak to us, wants to be in communion with us. Now, not later; always, not sometimes; forever and no matter what. Be challenged. Today. I certainly am.