I think that saying "Thank You" to E's birth mom may rank up there with one of the hardest things I have ever done. How, exactly, do you say thank you for a gift like this? A Hallmark gold crown just simply does not cover it.
As part of the process with our agency, we are encouraged to sit and write a letter to the birth family, as well as create a photo album of the child and your family as a forever "thank you" memorial. Wow. I have to admit that I have been procrastinating at this process for several weeks, feeling overwhelmed by the idea and the inadequacy of any words that I could possibly use. If you are one of my professors, you know that word count on my papers is NEVER a problem- ask me to write a 20-30 page exegesis on a prophetic book and I am there, but this one page letter has had me quivering in my boots. Never in a million years could I say all that I need to say about the gift this woman has given to our family through our Heavenly Father.
Yet today, I sat down and asked God to give me the words He wanted her to read. I typed and erased. Brandon read and re-read, offering new words and new Scriptures. Somehow, we have a finished product, but my heart does not feel satisfied. There is more- more that I want her to know, more that I want her to experience, more love that I want to share with this woman I have never met. I could write her letters forever and may never grow tired of those two words...thank you.
God, may you use the words on the page and allow them to grow into a testimony of Your love for E's birth mom. May she know without a doubt that she is loved by You, and will never be forsaken. May she have a personal relationship with Your Son. May she know that with You, nothing will be impossible for her. May she know that her sacrifice will be honored, and that her daughter is nothing short of loved and safe- in Your arms and in ours.
Blessings- Kindra
7 month old Noel E. @ HH
I know exactly what you mean. I just can't seem to get it out! We have one week - our letter must be done before we leave. But I just don't know how to say what's in my heart this time. It's too big - too much - every time I try to write the letter I just end up crying...
ReplyDeleteI am so there with you Kindra. We have about 3 weeks until we leave & everyday I think about writing that letter and find at least 10 other things to do to avoid writing it. I'm so glad that I read your blog because I know that I need to sit down in the quiet of my home and ask God to bring the words to my heart. Thanks for your prayer. I really think it will help me.
ReplyDeleteHardest thing I've ever written. Maybe hardest thing I've ever done? I'm sure leaving him in Ethiopia will be the other hardest thing ever. Matt and I wrote ours together. I would write pieces of what I was trying to say and Matt would tie them together. No matter how hard I tried, the words just would never come out "just right." So thankful for these women...
ReplyDeleteDefinitely hard...and we have done it several times. Still rocks my world!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow! That will be hard to write one day! How do you put all that into words?!!
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